text | gamerchiaki

[press_start]

Hey hey.

It seems like it's been a rough week for everyone, so how about we get together for a group game session? We can have a DDR tournament with the machine on the fifth floor, or Dungeons and Dragons… what do you guys want to play?


[ooc: as it turns out I may not have the time or energy to actually run an ic game night :,) so if anyone likes any of the ideas feel free to take charge of them and icly nanami will help anyone out with organising it!]

Comments

[letsplayer]

dunno what d&d is but my best guess is

well my brother is a half-orc barbarian

[press_start]

Yes! then you go to a dungeon and kill dragons. That's why it's called that, Dungeons & Dragons.

[letsplayer]

okay then i totally support that

i have no fucking idea where it's going to go but it'll be glorious

now more importantly

have you ever played cards against humanity

[press_start]

No… I’m not very good at many card games, especially the ones using poker cards. What kind is that?

cw: nsfw te- oh it's explaining CAH what do you expect

[letsplayer]

nah it's okay cah is super easy

too easy

you get a bunch of friends (or at least 2-3 friends) and the card deck and start off with someone being the judge

apparently the official rules state that the first judge has to be the person who most recently took a shit but whatever, that's not important, who the judge is rotates every turn anyway

it helps if you get everyone in a circle but that's not really necessary either, just recommended

so there's black cards and white cards

everyone starts with a hand full of about ten white cards

the judge draws a black card from the stack that has some kind of prompt or question or whatever on it, like "what brought the orgy to a grinding halt"

then everyone plays a white card from their hand that they think is funny or clever or w/e

the white cards have different responses and it's always stuff like

"overpowering your father"
"lots and lots of abortions"
"filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding"
"seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes"
"a sex goblin with a carnival penis"
"breastfeeding a ten year old"
"basic human decency"
"bees?"
"getting eaten alive by guy fieri"
"the biggest blackest dick"
"deflowering the princess"
"systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures"

you get it

sometimes you get prompts that ask you to draw 2-3 cards, most people fucking hate those ones so whenever we played it back home our house rules were to take those cards out

then the judge picks their favorite (you usually don't know who played which card unless it's SUPER OBVIOUS) and everyone draws as many cards as they played at the end of the turn

and then you get a point if you win that round I think? everything's made up and the points don't really matter so much as laughing at really allegedly offensive jokes

supposedly the winner is whoever gets the most points by the time you decide to stop (or whoever reaches the point goal first if you wanna roll that way)

but there are no winners in cards against humanity

only shame

what have you DONE

[press_start]

I don't think games about families dying are a good idea…. the point is to avoid things like killing people.

… what's an orgy?

[letsplayer]

if you're not cool with any of the cards we can go through the decks and remove ones you don't like, a lot of house rules do that

but i'm not gonna make you play this if you don't wanna








and i'm going to be perfectly honest with you because if I don't say shit or you ask around people are gonna get all red in the face

so

an orgy is basically a party where the main activity is that you and everyone who got invited just have lots of sex with whoever's up for it

presumably there's also condoms there and stuff to keep you hydrated because otherwise this could get out of hand quickly, but IDK I've never actually been to one

so that's one thing on my bucket list







CAH is a game where you make as many inappropriate jokes as possible basically so that's why it's mentioned

so any cards about deflowering people or dicks or sex goblins would probably not win this round because that would NOT, in fact, bring the orgy to a grinding halt

the getting eaten alive one MIGHT win but then not if the judge belongs in the vore shame corner

my vote's on abortions or bees? or the breastfeeding one

because an orgy is neither the time nor the place for medical procedures
or being stung in the face
or PRETEENS

[press_start]

... I don't think this game is very appropriate for a general audience.

[letsplayer]

yeah my vote's still for d&d

[founderinglight]

...

@Ardyn This seems your kind of game.

[Sorry not sorry?]

[letsplayer]

I mean if daddy or anyone else wants to play we could always set it up somewhere where we're away from the general

whatever passes for public here

[founderinglight]

... You realize he is my twin brother.

[Maybe don't call him that in front of Izunia...]

[letsplayer]

he changed his sn to patriarch, that's basically the dadliest of the dad hierarchy

however

I will keep this in mind

I thought there might be a reason you two looked hilariously similar

[founderinglight]

He adopted many but none of them are you.

Just bear in mind that they are very protective.

[So like maybe don't call him that without permission. You might anger the herd.]

[letsplayer]

gotcha

in retrospect I feel like my tradition of dumb nicknames needs an advance apology for literally anything I might say or do

also, I have boneitis

so that's going to be a problem if I piss too many people off

[dragonmouth]

Have you ever played gera?

[press_start]

No, what kind of game is that?

[dragonmouth]

[ She's going to launch into an explanation of a game that's sort of similar to, but not exactly like chess.

Hope you brought a notepad and pen, Chiaki. ]

text | un: noctgar

[nightcure]

that sounds pretty awesome, honestly

my vote's for ddr

[press_start]

Thank you for voting! If you want to play anytime, I'm usually there.

[nightcure]

i might have to take you up on that

are you any good, gamer chiaki?

[press_start]

My experience is mostly in handheld or console games, but I've been practicing. So I'd say I'm pretty good! Do you want to play a round right now? :)

text | username M.C.

[blackestwitch]

Sure, if you can give me a game where I don't have to read anything and doesn't require hand-eye coordination.

[letsplayer]

if that's the case we could probably rig up some d&d

you just make up a character and we go from there, and IDK but we could handle something for dice rolls

[blackestwitch]

D and D is the game with elves, right? I listened to a couple episodes of a podcast about it, but I didn't really get it.

[letsplayer]

it's not just elves there's other shit too

you're basically just telling a story with some friends but you gotta dice roll and calculate stats and shit to keep stuff from getting too unfair

except for the game master

who is free to make it as unfair to everyone else as she likes

or at least that's how my brother's gm likes to do things apparently

[blackestwitch]

How do you keep track of stats? Well I guess if I ran with it I could use my braille paper, I did bring some along.

And I might have a dice rolling app on my phone.

[letsplayer]

that would work

we could even try formatting the other people's character sheets so that they could get on your phone

my dad had a speech to text thing on his phone so i'm assuming going the opposite direction is similarly fucky

[blackestwitch]

My phone has speech to text and text to speech, yes. That's how I'm using it now. It works fine.

What is there besides elves?

[letsplayer]

there's dwarves, who live in caves and do dwarf things like complain about elves

drow who are basically elves but angstier I guess

gnomes who live on your lawn

halflings who eat second breakfast

dragonborn who are the lovechildren of a really freaky xeno orgy

half-orcs who are also the lovechildren of that same xeno orgy, but with orc blood

and

whatever the fuck a killoren is

also humans

[blackestwitch]

Okay I want in. I want to be a dragon born.

What else do I need to do?

[letsplayer]

math

[blackestwitch]

I'm out

[letsplayer]

okay

we'll still be here

waiting

text; un: inconvenient

[theosophomoric]

I don't believe I'm familiar with either of those games? I'm intrigued, though.

[press_start]

There's a DDR machine on the fifth floor that you can come and play on anytime! It's a rhythm game, you tap buttons on the floor in time with some music. Dungeons and Dragons is an RPG where you make a character and go on some adventures, I think.

Do you know any games? You can suggest them too.

[theosophomoric]

Well, whist is a classic for good reason, if anyone around here has a deck of cards. Or poker, but there's more variations and it takes longer to learn if people don't already know how. I'm also a fair chess player, but that's less suited to parties because it only takes two players.

I will most certainly investigate the DDR machine, though! That sounds like a treat.

[press_start]

I’m around there a lot, I can help you get the hang of it if you like.

Could you teach me whist, maybe? I'm not very good at card games, and it would be good for me to practice, I think.

[theosophomoric]

I'd be glad to. Proper whist takes four players, but double dummy runs by the same rules, just without the team play.

[press_start]

I don’t mind either way. Maybe whist? It’s good to encourage teamwork.




Does this place have cards, though?

[theosophomoric]

It seems as though someone ought to have a pack, but I haven't thought to check.