un: eestival | a shitton of posts in the days following the intro log

[zweihandler]

[ So like any self respecting feral internet child, Erina has apparently seen fit to liveblog the shit out of her initial exploration of the station. Some of it is a little incomprehensible though that seems to be because a lot of it is high velocity memeing. Of note are a few particular posts:

One is a photo of a... potato that Erina is clutching in her hand. There's a caption with it; ]

i hit 25% sync with this and it told me you were a little bitch

[ The second is a photo of a fried egg sandwich being held up to one of the chickens down on the farm level. This is weird enough (seriously, that's unsanitary) but the caption is what makes it maximum weird. ]

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SEEING, WEAVER??? THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!

[ jesus christ

this is capped off by two photos of Izunia doing his usual business of sleeping in the hallways, one from a distance and one considerably closer. the first is captioned: ]

is he fucking dead???? [ and the second; ] seriously should i call someone???

[ this is followed by a blurry photo of erina running away at top speed from something that is captioned – ]

DEFINITELY NOT DEAD OH FUCK

[ the rest of the spam is mostly just glib observations about things around the station but finally she sees fit to put up a normal post after a short lull in all that nonstop shitposting. ]

ok so two questions:

is anyone good with having a roomie camp out with them while we're here??? staying in a room by myself is wigging me the fuck out and i'm about to die of lonely. i promise i'm toilet trained and will only leave snack crumbs in my own bed.

second, more important question: why the fuck are all the girls here so hot????? hello????? please dear god i'm trying to live my life but how am i supposed to get anything done when all of you are out there looking like that. thank you and goodnight.

Comments

text: clearwater2000

[nojohnyouare]

The eggs we eat are unfertilized. Don't tease chicken-san.

[Later:]

Unsure. Not for TV ratings. Because we're not on TV. But... Personal preference? Of the thing that brought us here. Maybe.

[zweihandler]

why the fuck would we be on tv??? is this a really shitty reality show

un: cosmicgirl

[thecompletionofthings]

love you too Erina mwah mwah baby

but my room is MY ROOM and you are not invited

(at this time)

[zweihandler]

i cannot believe i'm already being left out in the cold. may have to eat my own legs for sustenance. everything's going dark but oh wait i can see a light etc etc

text, hangarprincess

[hurt_comforting]

imagine the sync you could get with a proper interface instead of a potato

Half of it's surely the endorphins from surviving the fissure, give us a week to relax and some of us will be frumpy again

hopefully not me, I stocked up on moisturizer and soaps in town

cosmicgirl

[thecompletionofthings]

oh yeah I am TOTALLY UNSURPRISED Erina would drift with a potato

I'm just surprised they only hit 25% compatibility

text, ariadne

[daughterofthemark]

[On the potato photo:]

🥔

[On the proper post:]

I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one who thought so!

As for your request, my room would be a bit small for two people, but if you'd like to stay temporarily while you search I believe I could accommodate you.

cosmicgirl

[thecompletionofthings]

You are not the only one who thinks so

so many Useless Lesbians here tho, you see a pretty girl and your brains go all "spla"

I, on the other hand, am a Very Useful Lesbian, I am a lesbian Swiss army knife

[zweihandler]

RIGHT?????????? tragically there appears to be an overwhelming majority of 1) grown-ass woman 2) straight or 3) all of the above but like......... a girl can still enjoy looking. especially when they have swords 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

[ the thirst, it screams like a lesbian ]

thanks for the offer tho, you're good people. i don't have a lot of shit so i can probably just dump myself in a corner and sleep? or take up your sofa if you don't use it w/e i'm not picky

text; elevencrows

[founderinglight]

[This is several minutes after.]

Ah, the culprit reveals herself.

In the future, please refrain from kicking me.

[This is followed by a photo of his part of the shitlist with 'Being suddenly awakened' circled in the phone's paint app.]

[zweihandler]

in my defense who sleeps in the fucking hallway?????? straight up i thought you were a goddamn corpse my guy

private, un: loveandpeace

[ax_iom]

With text to speech, I also found the app for speech to text. Thanks for your help.

Are you doing okay after the kick?

this is technically a new post but i'm not going to spam the comm

[zweihandler]

[ there's no caption

it's just a screenshot of one of Arianna's comments, there on the network for everyone to see. ]

[daughterofthemark]

[AFJASKLDFJ;ASDKLJ;FKLASJF;KLAFKL;ASDFJASKL;DF;KLASDFJKL;ASFJ;ASKLFJSDKL;FAS;LKKL]

DAME ERINA

un: moonlightglory, reply to second question

[moonlightglory]

You're welcome

[zweihandler]

you're providing this whole station with a priceless service 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

un: loveandpeace

[ax_iom]

[Izunia gave her the homework of getting used to text to speech, and this seems like a good place to start. So she's listening to this whole post, and then...

What the actual fuck.]

I'm hot because my hair is way too long and it's summer here for some reason. I need to find a fan and park in front of that for the next couple months... Is this one of those "you feel too hot just from looking" situations?

[... she may have completely misunderstood what Erina meant.

Also no one needs to know that this whole post took her like ten minutes to type out.]

[zweihandler]

is this a joke

UN: iondeluge

[letsplayer]

i'm guessing you're not into dudes but most of the dudes are pretty hot too

most

please don't troll the chickens

[zweihandler]

that's nice

make your own post

un: magitechsupport

[nor_iron_bars]

can't speak for everyone else, but i'm hot because the universe was like
"oh shit, your personality is terrible. have some awesome tits to balance that out."

[zweihandler]

ok but i'm obnoxious as hell where's MY rockin boobs

UN: dragonsmaw

[dragonmouth]

I don't know but it's very distracting!

[daughterofthemark]

Is this truly a difficulty for everyone?

"un: uncrowned" arrives 30 minutes late with healing pots

[class_struggle]

Two things:

one, do not wrong the chickens, they have long memories and if you run into a basilisk you'll need their help

two, it's a sad thing Amaryllis and Ser Whelan aren't here with me because I have never seen so many girls verbally strap-cutting before, if we can get a forge running I will sell you daggers for the purpose, by every loving god.

[He is laughing forever from his room, because my god, this is an advanced thirst.]

[zweihandler]

what the FUCK is strap cutting

UN: quicksilver80

[photoshooter]

if you're going to feed the chickens pls stick to vegetables mostly. too much bread isn't good for them.

[zweihandler]

seriously????? has not one person on this station seen brutal instinct????????????

un: m.c.

[blackestwitch]

Okay so. Am I hot? Here let me take a pic for reference.

[ What follows is a series of photographs without Maddie in them at all. A refrigerator with just a lock of red hair to the side, one where the entire picture is black but with a little tan so you can tell there's a thumb covering the camera lens, a brown cat, and a picture that's just black fabric with a little flannel to the side and you can't make anything more than that out. ]

[zweihandler]

i'm not a furry, so no.

[ ... this is probably a joke ]

un; inconvenient

[theosophomoric]

If your previous posts are representative of you trying to live your life, maybe the rest of us ought to be glad you're susceptible to sapphic distractions.

un: sapphicdistractions

[zweihandler]

oh shit i needed a new username. thanks dude.

she gives no indication whatsoever that she read any other part of that comment.

Text UN: Pidonus

[have_hat_will_travel]

I think there's double rooms now, thankfully.

As for the hotness... It's definitely a weird coincidence. I mean, I have the 'succubus' excuse but...

[zweihandler]

are you actually a succubus or are you just like one of those people who goes online and pretends they're like a werewolf?

un: daybreak

[hairpincurves]

The number of attractive ladies here is frankly unfair.

[zweihandler]

i'm not saying the person who brought us here is gay, but only someone gay would be dramatic enough to kidnap a bunch of hot people from across the universe

un: plantmom

[mutation_is_great]

[earlier]
if you traumatize that poor chicken too much, it wont lay eggs. well have to put down the poor thing and its meat aint gonna even taste good. too much grief spoils the meat.

im kidding of course

[later]
ive noticed the same. mayhaps what brings us here likes hot people

[zweihandler]

i'll say it again: who DOESN'T like hot people