text + photo, fishpocalypse

[letsplayer]

[A new message has popped up on the network from someone who calls themselves MARLA CELESTIA FUCKNUGGET SANZASHI, in all caps.

That name stays up for a few minutes before it changes, from "Ion" to "Marla" before just settling for "Mar".]

Okay, you guys saw nothing. I didn't think they'd actually put my name in like that, holy shit?

Anyway it's way too early because I just woke up fresh off of a pizza coma but

I've got a problem.

[She uploads a photo of a huge pile of what looks like individually bagged goldfish.]

So I was in another spooky people-kidnapping world before this and I found out that five bucks gets you a RIDIC amount of goldfish

I have no idea why I did what I did

but anyway fuckin multiverse arceus or some shit decided i couldn't abandon my 35 fishy children and dragged them here with me

one of them already fell into a guy's hair

anyway HOW THE CRAP AM I SUPPOSED TO HOUSE ALL OF THESE FISH I figure I can't just let them marinate in their own fish pee forever in the little bags they came in

and usually I just have my Pokemon sleep in their balls if space is tight but GOLDFISH ARE NOT POKEMON

do I just release them back into the wild?

can I even do that?

pls help

Comments

[letsplayer]

sure let's go with that

[misanthropicprinciple]

It's a noble calling. Beloved by people everywhere. A cornerstone of our society, really.

[letsplayer]

look

it's better than fucking clowns

[misanthropicprinciple]

Are clowns really that scary? I never understood Western horror's obsession with them.

[letsplayer]

a lot of it has to do with this one horror writer who did a book about a clown monster that did horrible things to children

then that got turned into a movie

but even before that they're presumably human beings

maybe

slathered in makeup and making strange noises while wearing regrettable clothes

and if you're a little kid that's some scary shit

I mean my mom and my bro never cared too much either way but then they're goths who... also wear heavy makeup and make weird noises and have sometimes regrettable fashion choices

but the difference is that one of these groups is harmless and the other is FUCKING CLOWNS

[misanthropicprinciple]

You don't see the same national terror of kabuki actors, though. I guess because fewer kids are taken to Japanese theater, or because there was no Stephen King to Pennywise it up.

Unless you're talking about someone else.

let's not get into more detail of the stuff in the books unless you REALLY want to

[letsplayer]

no that was the guy

I mean my dad was pretty weirded out too when he found out that clown phobia was a thing

but it was pretty much just that fucking movie?

at least it didn't get into some of the other stuff that was in the book because that shit was

REALLY

freaky