[The advice has him quiet. Does he still want to be the person who he used to be? No, certainly not. But for selfish reasons, mostly. Having a functioning guilty conscience sucks if you know the things you're doing are fucking awful.
Yet some part of him is disturbed— again, selfish motivations. Where does the selfishness end? Is there darkness so deeply entwined with his soul that not even a Change of Heart could rid him of all of it? Is that why he feels torn between being good because his heart insists that that's what's right, and between saying fuck everyone, no one here gives an honest shit about him anyway, and no one ever would so why the fuck should he care what happens to any of them?
The advice has him so deep in thought that he reads the last bit without really feeling the sting of being told he sounds horrible, Yet Again. Every time he starts thinking of this, everything gets muddled inside of him and he just feels so fucking lost and it's the worst feeling in the world and he hates it.]
I'm hardly a good person now, either.
[The voice comes out a bit stronger, a growl of frustration with layers of bitterness and stubbornness and god knows what else. It's almost a challenge. You don't want to be one of those supportive someones to an awful man who won't even fully accept that he's been made better, do you?]
no subject
Yet some part of him is disturbed— again, selfish motivations. Where does the selfishness end? Is there darkness so deeply entwined with his soul that not even a Change of Heart could rid him of all of it? Is that why he feels torn between being good because his heart insists that that's what's right, and between saying fuck everyone, no one here gives an honest shit about him anyway, and no one ever would so why the fuck should he care what happens to any of them?
The advice has him so deep in thought that he reads the last bit without really feeling the sting of being told he sounds horrible, Yet Again. Every time he starts thinking of this, everything gets muddled inside of him and he just feels so fucking lost and it's the worst feeling in the world and he hates it.]
I'm hardly a good person now, either.
[The voice comes out a bit stronger, a growl of frustration with layers of bitterness and stubbornness and god knows what else. It's almost a challenge. You don't want to be one of those supportive someones to an awful man who won't even fully accept that he's been made better, do you?]