[video]

[moonlightglory]

[Video start: Faith's face. She's apparently in her room, and looks about as serious as she always does.]

Good evening. I have a very important announcement to make, so please pay close attention.

The best, in fact the only good man in the universe is now here at this very station. Allow me to introduce you to him.

[The camera swings around as Faith walks across her room to point at something. It's... an aquarium. Coming gradually into focus is a small, blue fish.]

Everyone, meet Walnut. Walnut has only kindness in his heart. He will never do or say anything to hurt you, and he will keep every promise and do everything in his power to make the world a better place.

It is very important to me that you appreciate this fish. Appreciate him. Appreciate Walnut.

...I'm gonna need to find a source of fish food.

Comments

[redmeguca]

If anybody doesn't appreciate this fish, I will hurt them. This fish is amazing.

[moonlightglory]

I don't know who this is but we are now friends

[thinkingwithmahous]

[Brainwashed cult voice.]

I appreciate Walnut. Walnut is life. All hail Walnut.

[moonlightglory]

I'm glad that the Hand has been defeated, so that we can install Walnut as the new world leader.

video; ariadne

[daughterofthemark]

I know of several other good men, but I will most certainly appreciate Sir Walnut, especially after your glowing testimony.

[moonlightglory]

In recent years, Walnut has arguably been there for me more often than my parents.

text; selfrecurrent

[plentyfriendly]

He's beautiful, and will surely do no wrong.

[moonlightglory]

He is incapable of doing wrong
I mean, what would he do, he has no arms

cosmicgirl

[thecompletionofthings]

All hail Walnut!

[moonlightglory]

I'm glad that we can all agree on one thing, and that thing is how maybe we'd actually get shit done if we just put Walnut in charge of everything

un: ravusnoxfleuret

[giltfoil]

I accept this determination. The fish is superior.

[moonlightglory]

Glad to hear it
No hard feelings, it's just a scientific fact that Walnut is superior to all human men

un: daybreak

[hairpincurves]

Truly a magnificent fish that deserves to be appreciated.

[moonlightglory]

This is why we keep having fissures appear. Walnut wasn't here to stabilize the universe for us.

text: clearwater2000

[nojohnyouare]

Fish-san... Nice. Unsure about food. Some eat bugs in the wild.

[moonlightglory]

OK, well
I don't want to go catch bugs in the woods just to feed to my pet fish
But if it comes to that, I guess I would

[class_struggle]

come now, that's unfair to men

they simply can't compete with the stunning scales of Walnut

[moonlightglory]

I didn't make the rules
Blame yourself for not being as good as Walnut

video

[ax_iom]

[it takes her a bit to respond to this, but.]

You must be bored, huh? I'll help you find some fish food.

[moonlightglory]

Apparently there's a pet supply store out in that abandoned city. I should be able to salvage something there.

un: purrsonafied | video

[beguiledcard]

[ He's smiling with amusement. ]

There's a pet supply store in the city. I don't think anybody else has a fish friend here, so there should be plenty of fish food left.

[moonlightglory]

Oh sick
Thank you for saving Walnut's life
You are a true hero

un: inconvenient, video

[theosophomoric]

What a cheerful fellow! He's got my full appreciation.

[moonlightglory]

Glad to hear it. Everyone seems to be pretty ready to appreciate Walnut.

un: magitechsupport, video

[nor_iron_bars]

[The camera seems slightly erratic, as if wielded by someone who's a little unsteady right now. This is explained when Jail comes into view, cheerfully toasting the screen with her flask.]

Woo-hoo, Walnut's here! Hey there, little buddy, how'd you swim all the way through that Fissure, huh?

[moonlightglory]

[By way of response, Walnut slowly swims in a circle. One might almost think that he doesn't know that Jail is talking to him, or exists.]

Walnut says it was super hard.

[zweihandler]

i would kill a man with my bare hands if walnut asked me to

[blackestwitch]

Honestly it's hard for me to appreciate a pet that I can't interact with. But I guess being better than most men isn't a high bar.

[moonlightglory]

You'll have to just take my word for it that Walnut exists
I wouldn't lie to you about Walnut