[video]

[moonlightglory]

[Video start: Faith's face. She's apparently in her room, and looks about as serious as she always does.]

Good evening. I have a very important announcement to make, so please pay close attention.

The best, in fact the only good man in the universe is now here at this very station. Allow me to introduce you to him.

[The camera swings around as Faith walks across her room to point at something. It's... an aquarium. Coming gradually into focus is a small, blue fish.]

Everyone, meet Walnut. Walnut has only kindness in his heart. He will never do or say anything to hurt you, and he will keep every promise and do everything in his power to make the world a better place.

It is very important to me that you appreciate this fish. Appreciate him. Appreciate Walnut.

...I'm gonna need to find a source of fish food.

Comments

[moonlightglory]

I don't know who this is but we are now friends

un: RossoFantasma

[redmeguca]

Oops, forgot to log in. I'm Kyoko, and I would die for Walnut.

[moonlightglory]

No clue who that is
There's a bunch of new people

To video

[redmeguca]

Hold on, let me just switch to video.

[And with that, Kyoko's face is revealed.]

Ta-da.

[moonlightglory]

Neat. Welcome to the weird shithole at the edge of space.

[redmeguca]

It's not that bad. Where I'm from, that was a shithole. Or did you mean, "lots of crap ends up here?"

[moonlightglory]

Nah, I'm just a cynical asshole. Objectively speaking, this place is way less fucked than Florida was.

[redmeguca]

...I'd say something in Florida's defence, but I've actually got nothing.

[moonlightglory]

Have you been to Florida? There's a reason it's hard to come up with a defense for.

[redmeguca]

Nah, but I've heard about it. Floridians are crazy.

[thecompletionofthings]

Paleoanthropology proves that Florida Man is an important evolutionary link between homo sapiens and fucking nutbar wackaloons.

[moonlightglory]

Yeah, I'm from Florida and that's 100% accurate.