[text] in: kana

[cyclicalconcept]

[Its a small, quick post. It’s also not in her normal formatting. But it’s obvious who it it’s, to some people.

And not just because it has Kana’s user name on it, of course.]

What is hate, to you? How do you know that you hate someone? How do you reconcile that hate when it’s towards someone you care for?




I hope I make some sense. I’m not sure what I’m thinking right now.

Comments

text; Jetshard

[dubiouslychthonic]

o)+ I can't teLL you how it usuaLLy works for humans, but if you want the ALternian PersPective I can offer that.

text—kana

[cyclicalconcept]

I’d like to hear it. I’m not Alternian but also, not technically human myself.

[letsplayer]

do you ever want someone to suffer and it's not a weird sex thing

[cyclicalconcept]

[Immediate answer.]

no

[dubiouslychthonic]

[If you focus past the translation effect to get the Alternian base text, you might notice that "hate" and "love" are very clearly forms of the same root word.]

o)+ ALright, weLL.

o)+ Hating someone is being invested in them because of your negative feeLings toward or about them.

o)+ As we figure it, you reaLLy can't hate someone without it being someone you care about. Even if it's not a cLose PersonaL reLationshiP, hate is founded in being invested in the other Person in a Lot of the same ways as Loving them. Who they are and what they're doing is imPortant to you. They infLuence how you think about the worLd around you.

o)+ If you didn't care, you just... wouLdn't care. Life's too fuLL of things that are hard and unPLeasant to sPend time fixating on PeoPLe who don't matter to you. I don't mean that in a "you're being siLLy and shouLd move on" way, I mean that in a "if you are thinking about someone, you're aLready invested" way.

o)+ Sometimes this means that you just reaLLy want them to stoP what they're doing, whatever it takes, and it resuLts in oPen confLict. Sometimes it means you want to Prove that you're better than them, and you grow because of it. Sometimes if you reaLize that you vaLued the Positive feeLings you aLready had toward the Person, more than you vaLue the idea of making them change, you need to steP back and do some souL-searching and decide whether the things that irritate you about them actuaLLy outweigh the things that endear them to you.

o)+ (And with troLLs sometimes hating someone deveLoPs into romantic and sexuaL attraction in the same way that aPProving of them can, but I'm given to understand that humans don't usuaLLy do bLack romance.)

[letsplayer]

that's basically it

just a roller coaster of wanting someone to SUFFER

[cyclicalconcept]

I don’t like people to suffer. Not even people who do bad things.

Probablecaws

[foolishjustice]

Hatred is resenting someone's actions or their effects on you or people important to you, to the point where you wish harm on them in return. Not simply wishing they would change their ways, but feeling an intense anger toward who they are.

It's an intense feeling, something that can even override everything else with the desire to punish the person you hate for the behaviors that caused that resentment.

[cyclicalconcept]

That makes sense.

There is someone like that. Back home. I guess you can say I’m very very invested in them whether I want to be or not?

[dubiouslychthonic]

o)+ That haPPens.

o)+ But then, sometimes Loving someone whether you want to or not haPPens, too.

[cyclicalconcept]

[Bit of a pause before they respond.]

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that in an intense way.

I definitely have felt strong feelings, but not to that point.

[cyclicalconcept]

I can’t help but care for her. Even after everything. But she did something terrible. I feel empty. Unsure. Upset...angry. When I think of her.

But I also wonder if I’m no different from her too.

[foolishjustice]

You should consider yourself fortunate for that. Strong hatred is a sort of acid, that can eat away at everything else until it becomes your entire world.

[cyclicalconcept]

I wonder if that's what she thinks of me.

[dubiouslychthonic]

o)+ I'm sure I don't have the context to understand the situation, and I'm not incLined to Pry.

o)+ But it's ok to feeL negativeLy toward her.

o)+ And it's ok to use her as a reference for what you don't want to be, if that's how you feeL.

text; elevencrows; several hours after the Palace Expedition so VERY LATE

[founderinglight]

Until very recently, I was genuinely incapable of such.

Will get back to you if I figure it out.

[Also if one were to squint and concentrate on this text? Without the autotranslation, it's written in a rather bizarre mix of Latin, English, and at least one other unidentifiable language.]

text

[cyclicalconcept]

[A lot of crazy languages tonight. Love/hate trolls language, a Latinglish thing...]

Oh.

Please, take your time. It must have been very exhausting for you.

[cyclicalconcept]

It's really okay?




Yet I always feel like it's not right.

another several hours later, same garbage language mix

[founderinglight]

You have no idea.

Hurts very much. Don't regret it. But it's hard.

[cyclicalconcept]

You're right, I really don't know what it's like to not feel anything at all.




I've always had feelings, even if now, they're not as strong as they were before, when I was complete.

ten minutes or so this time

[founderinglight]

Not that sort of incapable.

Except when I was, but not what I meant.

[cyclicalconcept]

I think I get it now. You really weren't able to hate before, but you felt other emotions?

text; luciferskylight

[burninglight]

Complicated.

I don't know if it's possible to hate and care for someone at the same time. Be furious with someone you love, certainly. But in my experience it's either love or hate, not both at once.

[cyclicalconcept]

I see.



I guess I am still angry, but I don't know that I should be judging her.

this one's ANOTHER several hours later, I'm sorry Kana he's just napping between replies

[founderinglight]

[The languages are slightly more coherent in this one! It's also by now nearly the evening after the first time he replied.]

No, hated just fine.

Just very screwed up. Couldn't reconcile even normal anger with love.