[text] in: kana

[cyclicalconcept]

[Its a small, quick post. It’s also not in her normal formatting. But it’s obvious who it it’s, to some people.

And not just because it has Kana’s user name on it, of course.]

What is hate, to you? How do you know that you hate someone? How do you reconcile that hate when it’s towards someone you care for?




I hope I make some sense. I’m not sure what I’m thinking right now.

Comments

text; Jetshard

[dubiouslychthonic]

o)+ I can't teLL you how it usuaLLy works for humans, but if you want the ALternian PersPective I can offer that.

text—kana

[cyclicalconcept]

I’d like to hear it. I’m not Alternian but also, not technically human myself.

[dubiouslychthonic]

[If you focus past the translation effect to get the Alternian base text, you might notice that "hate" and "love" are very clearly forms of the same root word.]

o)+ ALright, weLL.

o)+ Hating someone is being invested in them because of your negative feeLings toward or about them.

o)+ As we figure it, you reaLLy can't hate someone without it being someone you care about. Even if it's not a cLose PersonaL reLationshiP, hate is founded in being invested in the other Person in a Lot of the same ways as Loving them. Who they are and what they're doing is imPortant to you. They infLuence how you think about the worLd around you.

o)+ If you didn't care, you just... wouLdn't care. Life's too fuLL of things that are hard and unPLeasant to sPend time fixating on PeoPLe who don't matter to you. I don't mean that in a "you're being siLLy and shouLd move on" way, I mean that in a "if you are thinking about someone, you're aLready invested" way.

o)+ Sometimes this means that you just reaLLy want them to stoP what they're doing, whatever it takes, and it resuLts in oPen confLict. Sometimes it means you want to Prove that you're better than them, and you grow because of it. Sometimes if you reaLize that you vaLued the Positive feeLings you aLready had toward the Person, more than you vaLue the idea of making them change, you need to steP back and do some souL-searching and decide whether the things that irritate you about them actuaLLy outweigh the things that endear them to you.

o)+ (And with troLLs sometimes hating someone deveLoPs into romantic and sexuaL attraction in the same way that aPProving of them can, but I'm given to understand that humans don't usuaLLy do bLack romance.)

[cyclicalconcept]

That makes sense.

There is someone like that. Back home. I guess you can say I’m very very invested in them whether I want to be or not?

[dubiouslychthonic]

o)+ That haPPens.

o)+ But then, sometimes Loving someone whether you want to or not haPPens, too.

[letsplayer]

do you ever want someone to suffer and it's not a weird sex thing

[cyclicalconcept]

[Immediate answer.]

no

[letsplayer]

that's basically it

just a roller coaster of wanting someone to SUFFER

[cyclicalconcept]

I don’t like people to suffer. Not even people who do bad things.

[letsplayer]

well you must be made of incorruptible pure pureness or something

because that doesn't sound like literally anyone i've ever known

Probablecaws

[foolishjustice]

Hatred is resenting someone's actions or their effects on you or people important to you, to the point where you wish harm on them in return. Not simply wishing they would change their ways, but feeling an intense anger toward who they are.

It's an intense feeling, something that can even override everything else with the desire to punish the person you hate for the behaviors that caused that resentment.

[cyclicalconcept]

[Bit of a pause before they respond.]

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that in an intense way.

I definitely have felt strong feelings, but not to that point.

[foolishjustice]

You should consider yourself fortunate for that. Strong hatred is a sort of acid, that can eat away at everything else until it becomes your entire world.

[cyclicalconcept]

I wonder if that's what she thinks of me.

text; elevencrows; several hours after the Palace Expedition so VERY LATE

[founderinglight]

Until very recently, I was genuinely incapable of such.

Will get back to you if I figure it out.

[Also if one were to squint and concentrate on this text? Without the autotranslation, it's written in a rather bizarre mix of Latin, English, and at least one other unidentifiable language.]

text

[cyclicalconcept]

[A lot of crazy languages tonight. Love/hate trolls language, a Latinglish thing...]

Oh.

Please, take your time. It must have been very exhausting for you.

another several hours later, same garbage language mix

[founderinglight]

You have no idea.

Hurts very much. Don't regret it. But it's hard.

[cyclicalconcept]

You're right, I really don't know what it's like to not feel anything at all.




I've always had feelings, even if now, they're not as strong as they were before, when I was complete.

text; luciferskylight

[burninglight]

Complicated.

I don't know if it's possible to hate and care for someone at the same time. Be furious with someone you love, certainly. But in my experience it's either love or hate, not both at once.

[cyclicalconcept]

I see.



I guess I am still angry, but I don't know that I should be judging her.

[burninglight]

Is it the sort of thing where she did something terrible, but you can understand why?

Because I find that's the hardest to deal with, sometimes.

[cyclicalconcept]

No.

I

[It's a bit of a pause before the sentence is finished.]

still don't understand why she did it, even now.

un: purrista

[beguiledcard]

Hey, Kana.

I've heard some people say it's not much different from love, or that you can't hate someone you've never loved... And yet, the one I hated most of all, was someone who hurt people I love, as well as myself and countless other people.

[ THIS IS SO MUCH TBH ]

For some people, thinking about the one they hate just makes them angry, while others even feel sick to their stomach. Or a desire to lash out or kill them. Maybe you could want them to suffer, or maybe you could just never want to see them ever again.

On top of it all, there are different intensities of hatred, so even the amount of each feeling that comes with hate can vary. And, really... what a person chooses to do with feelings of hate can be different.

[ he never wants to do this ever again ]

TL;DR feelings are complicated, and no two people ever feel something in the exact same way over the exact same person or thing.

[cyclicalconcept]

Hello, Akira-san.

[it's pretty obvious it's you, sorry]

I guess I do feel a little sick to my stomach, when I think about it. And, I cry. Not always. But I do.

[beguiledcard]

[ No part of him would be offended by this. ]

That sounds almost like how I'd describe grief.

[ Not that he's... recently felt that... or anything. Haha... ]

I guess this is why base emotions exist; feelings such as "upset" or "tired" function as wider groups.

In my experience, it's difficult to pinpoint an exact emotion sometimes, when I'm actively feeling it.